I'm Not Self-Centered. Just Look!

This is Darino.

He is my friend. He even reads my blog! But, he pointed out something really important. All I ever do on my blog is talk about myself and what I think and do.

So, today, I'd like to tell you all about my good friend, Darino!

He comes from a magical land called Las Vegas. It is very shiny and full of beautiful, naked women. He likes talking about political issues and getting hideously injured in third-world countries.

He also likes eating ice cream (with me!).

This is pretty much what I'm thinking all the time.

We have lots of fun together, doing lots of things in Korea.

Like exercising!

The restaurant was around the corner, FYI.

And going out!

When Darino is not hanging out with me, he does lots of Serious, Important Things. Like,

• listening to NPR
• Scaring Korean children
• buying furniture for other people on Gmarket

So, here's to you, Darino. Friends! Yay! picturesofpuppiesandmeadows!!

Haruki Murakami OMG You're So Awesome

I have a life crush on Haruki Murakami.

He's living the kind of life that I secretly aspire to - incredibly random and literary. He is acknowledged as one of the greatest living novelists of our time and he didn't even begin writing seriously until he was 29.

Admittedly, I enjoy learning these kinds of facts because it counters my feelings of premature failure, knowing that T.S. Eliot had already written The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by age 22. In my spiral of post-college (but pre-'career') doubt, it's heartening to hear that there isn't some set timeline or progression for being successful. 

And, besides that, Murakami is also a marathon runner and triathlete! Yeah, I pretty much want to be him.

Gutting. Just Gutting.

Unfortunately, all three teams I was following for the World Cup got knocked out over the weekend. Apparently, I don't love winners like I should.

Oh well. Here's a random photo.

Rooney

I have it on good authority from an actual British person that Wayne Rooney (of England's World Cup team) will eat your face off.

Go America/England/Korea this weekend! I'm so excited for the second round of World Cup.

Fridays are so great. I love them. I could marry them. (And think, then you'd wake up every morning to Friday. I could live with that. No, actually, I'd probably cheat on it with Saturday but let's not get into that one.)

Useful Korean

I got into a conversation with friends recently about Korean insults. So, after some digging, here's what I found.

Obviously, Koreans have all the normal insults...

Bastard!
호로 새끼!

Bitch!
개 같은 년!

You motherfucker!
니미 씹할 놈!

Shut up!
입 닥쳐!

Fuck / Damn!
씨발!

What are you staring at?
뭘 쳐다 봐?


And then they have some more interesting ones...

You're a dirty man/woman.
더러운 새끼 / 년

Why don't you go somewhere and die!
어디 가서 뒈져 버려!

Go home and masturbate!
집에 가서 딸딸이나 쳐!

I'll kick your penis! (used like "Fuck off!")
좆까!

You look like a penis!
좆 같은 놈! (to a man)
좆 같은 년! (to a woman)

Go drink your mother's breast milk and then come back!
가서 엄마 젖이나 더 먹고 와!


It's exciting to look this up, as reading over them, I can understand most of them. Yeah, Korean classes are paying off!


And to balance out the swear words, here are some things to say to people when you really like them...

You have a beautiful body.
넌 몸매가 예뻐.

Do you wanna sleep with me?
나랑 자고 싶어?

Take your clothes off!
옷 벗어 봐!

Touch me!
나 만져 줘!

If you don't wear a condom, I won't do it!
콘돔 안 쓰면, 안 할꺼야!

I'm coming, I'm coming!
나온다, 나온다! (for men)
오를 거 같애! (for women)

I came.
나 쌌어. (for men.)
나 올랐어. (for women.)

I have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
나 여자친구 / 남자친구 있어.