I'm Not Self-Centered. Just Look!

This is Darino.

He is my friend. He even reads my blog! But, he pointed out something really important. All I ever do on my blog is talk about myself and what I think and do.

So, today, I'd like to tell you all about my good friend, Darino!

He comes from a magical land called Las Vegas. It is very shiny and full of beautiful, naked women. He likes talking about political issues and getting hideously injured in third-world countries.

He also likes eating ice cream (with me!).

This is pretty much what I'm thinking all the time.

We have lots of fun together, doing lots of things in Korea.

Like exercising!

The restaurant was around the corner, FYI.

And going out!

When Darino is not hanging out with me, he does lots of Serious, Important Things. Like,

• listening to NPR
• Scaring Korean children
• buying furniture for other people on Gmarket

So, here's to you, Darino. Friends! Yay! picturesofpuppiesandmeadows!!

Useful Korean

I got into a conversation with friends recently about Korean insults. So, after some digging, here's what I found.

Obviously, Koreans have all the normal insults...

Bastard!
호로 새끼!

Bitch!
개 같은 년!

You motherfucker!
니미 씹할 놈!

Shut up!
입 닥쳐!

Fuck / Damn!
씨발!

What are you staring at?
뭘 쳐다 봐?


And then they have some more interesting ones...

You're a dirty man/woman.
더러운 새끼 / 년

Why don't you go somewhere and die!
어디 가서 뒈져 버려!

Go home and masturbate!
집에 가서 딸딸이나 쳐!

I'll kick your penis! (used like "Fuck off!")
좆까!

You look like a penis!
좆 같은 놈! (to a man)
좆 같은 년! (to a woman)

Go drink your mother's breast milk and then come back!
가서 엄마 젖이나 더 먹고 와!


It's exciting to look this up, as reading over them, I can understand most of them. Yeah, Korean classes are paying off!


And to balance out the swear words, here are some things to say to people when you really like them...

You have a beautiful body.
넌 몸매가 예뻐.

Do you wanna sleep with me?
나랑 자고 싶어?

Take your clothes off!
옷 벗어 봐!

Touch me!
나 만져 줘!

If you don't wear a condom, I won't do it!
콘돔 안 쓰면, 안 할꺼야!

I'm coming, I'm coming!
나온다, 나온다! (for men)
오를 거 같애! (for women)

I came.
나 쌌어. (for men.)
나 올랐어. (for women.)

I have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
나 여자친구 / 남자친구 있어.

On Being a Wineo

Kara, Orla and Bobbie with wine.

For a while now, my friends and I have been on and off regulars at a Saturday evening wine buffet in Gangnam. For 23,000 won, you can drink unlimited glasses of wine or champagne from 6 P.M. to 9 P.M. There's also an offering of tasty hors d'oeuvres (including real cheese, which I'm told is a big draw, if you like that sort of thing).

The key to a successful experience at wine buffet is to create a 'wine bank' before 8:45 when the wine starts going away. If you are unsure what the word 'success' means as applied to a wine buffet, here is a visual example:

Exhibit A: Wine Bank

Afterward, we tottered over to Hongdae to go clubbing. There are many wonderful and horrible things in Hongdae. Like dance clubs! And also, dance clubs. Remember to fortify yourself properly. Although very few of the clubs and bars sell soju (the cost to alcohol content ratio makes it unprofitable to serve), the local Buy the Way is well-stocked.

Exhibit B: Soju Warriors (Sorry Deryk and Michael)

I warn you, things degenerate rapidly where soju is involved.

Why Living in Seoul is Great; Why Living in Seoul is Awful

In an effort to save more money,  I've been tracking my expenses lately.


Typical Expenses (Weekday):

Lunch - Bibimbap + juice (GS25)            2,500 won
             Sweet Chocolate bar                     200 won

Subway Fare (both ways)                        1,800 won

Dinner - Odeng                                       1,200 won
              apple                                         1,000 won

                                                 TOTAL: 6,700 won = $5.90 US

---------------------------------------------------------------

Typical Expenses (Saturday):

Snack - chocolate waffle (subway)           2,000 won

Subway Fare (both ways)                        1,800 won

Lunch - Salad (Kraze Burger)                  5,500 won

Pre-dinner Drink - whiskey (Sam Ryans)  5,000 won
Dinner - Pollack Soup (Itaewon)              6,000 won

Drinks (Queen, Stompers, etc.)               38,000 won
Drinks (GS25)                                          3,000 won

Taxi (from Itaewon)                                15,000 won

Drunken snacks (GS25)                           6,500 won

                                                TOTAL: 80,500 won = $70.84 US

;_;

Korea, I Love You When You're in Love

Spring is finally springing here and I've realized that in Korea, this is my favorite season. Why?

COUPLES OUTFITS.

"Couples outfits?" You may wonder, thinking of corny Halloween costumes or couples that color coordinate their polo shirts.

In Korea, couples outfits are so much more than that. And spring, when love is in the air, is the perfect time to break them out and show the world how much you love each other.

Matching T-shirts!

Matching shoes!

Entire matching outfits! Completed with ridiculous dressed-up dog!!

It's interesting how different the attitude is here. In the west, the automatic thought when seeing couples dressing alike is 'wow, that guy has no balls.' However, in Korea, it's just considered sort of cute and funny. (Or a lot more Korean guys are just ball-less. But, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.)

And a few more of my favorites...

Brilliant! Who is going to hit on your girlfriend/boyfriend if they're wearing this?

The 80's vomited. 

Oh, jeez, how stupid is- oh, oh wait...well, I feel sheepish.

So, have any couples outfit photos to share?

Jumping photos...

...are AWESOME.

Thanksgiving Weekend

 I took my co-teachers out to lunch last Saturday as a thank you for all the help they've given me. So, I guess it was a very appropriate Thanksgiving weekend.

And here's a picture of me balancing a menu on my head. Talent.

While we were having coffee with my co-teachers, Eric and I demonstrated the thanksgiving tradition of tracing your hand and making it look like a turkey. We used a napkin and the waterproof marker I've had in my purse since we went to Namsan Tower. Unfortunately, we didn't realize that the ink would bleed through and leave a very festive drawing on the table. We are really leaving our mark on Korea (har).

Later, Eric and I went to Hongdae to meet some friends.

Friends (Anji probably looks annoyed because she is a Native American. Or, because we were stupidly drunk.)

This is how I look when I'm going to spend the next morning wishing I were dead.