Haruki Murakami OMG You're So Awesome

I have a life crush on Haruki Murakami.

He's living the kind of life that I secretly aspire to - incredibly random and literary. He is acknowledged as one of the greatest living novelists of our time and he didn't even begin writing seriously until he was 29.

Admittedly, I enjoy learning these kinds of facts because it counters my feelings of premature failure, knowing that T.S. Eliot had already written The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by age 22. In my spiral of post-college (but pre-'career') doubt, it's heartening to hear that there isn't some set timeline or progression for being successful. 

And, besides that, Murakami is also a marathon runner and triathlete! Yeah, I pretty much want to be him.

Gutting. Just Gutting.

Unfortunately, all three teams I was following for the World Cup got knocked out over the weekend. Apparently, I don't love winners like I should.

Oh well. Here's a random photo.

Rooney

I have it on good authority from an actual British person that Wayne Rooney (of England's World Cup team) will eat your face off.

Go America/England/Korea this weekend! I'm so excited for the second round of World Cup.

Fridays are so great. I love them. I could marry them. (And think, then you'd wake up every morning to Friday. I could live with that. No, actually, I'd probably cheat on it with Saturday but let's not get into that one.)

Useful Korean

I got into a conversation with friends recently about Korean insults. So, after some digging, here's what I found.

Obviously, Koreans have all the normal insults...

Bastard!
호로 새끼!

Bitch!
개 같은 년!

You motherfucker!
니미 씹할 놈!

Shut up!
입 닥쳐!

Fuck / Damn!
씨발!

What are you staring at?
뭘 쳐다 봐?


And then they have some more interesting ones...

You're a dirty man/woman.
더러운 새끼 / 년

Why don't you go somewhere and die!
어디 가서 뒈져 버려!

Go home and masturbate!
집에 가서 딸딸이나 쳐!

I'll kick your penis! (used like "Fuck off!")
좆까!

You look like a penis!
좆 같은 놈! (to a man)
좆 같은 년! (to a woman)

Go drink your mother's breast milk and then come back!
가서 엄마 젖이나 더 먹고 와!


It's exciting to look this up, as reading over them, I can understand most of them. Yeah, Korean classes are paying off!


And to balance out the swear words, here are some things to say to people when you really like them...

You have a beautiful body.
넌 몸매가 예뻐.

Do you wanna sleep with me?
나랑 자고 싶어?

Take your clothes off!
옷 벗어 봐!

Touch me!
나 만져 줘!

If you don't wear a condom, I won't do it!
콘돔 안 쓰면, 안 할꺼야!

I'm coming, I'm coming!
나온다, 나온다! (for men)
오를 거 같애! (for women)

I came.
나 쌌어. (for men.)
나 올랐어. (for women.)

I have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
나 여자친구 / 남자친구 있어.

FIGHTING!!

For the next two weeks, I'm giving speaking tests in my classes. So, basically, I have one-on-one short conversations with students.

While some surprise me with their conversational ability ("Wait, you lived in Canada for 3 years? And you never thought to speak up the past 4 months??"), others... fall below expectations.

For instance, one conversation I had with a student:

Me: I get bad grades. What should I do?

Student: ...
Student: ...
Student: FIGHTING!!"

I should explain here that this student did not mean, 'fight someone!' or 'bad grades make me so angry, let's fight!'

"Fighting!" is a Konglish word that means "You can do it!" or "chin up!" It's everywhere.

Like on this mug I bought at Daiso.

For those rough mornings.

Of this World Cup Shirt from Babo.

The t-shirt says "Pa-i-ting" which is the closest you can get to "Fighting" in hangul.

In fact, 'fighting!' is such a popular phrase, it's even frequently used by foreigners here. For example, this facebook conversation:

Brooke wrote: 
Hope your face isn't still paralyzed from that Moroccan sandwich. Sorry, friend.

Kara wrote:
no worries I have made a full recovery! Even my eyebrow is back to normal. It was touch and go there for a while, but I made it through. FIGHTING!

So, FIGHTING! students! Do your best!

Soccer Fans!

The past weekend was a little crazy, what with the World Cup on. I've never been a big soccer fan before but, to quote Seinfeld, "I enjoy any sporting event where nations get involved."

I like the egalitarian nature of soccer, though. Watching the Winter Olympics opening ceremony, it's a little depressing to notice the huge disparity between the nations' sports programs - a gap usually based in wealth. Especially in the winter olympics, many sports are impossible to be competitive in without significant financial backing. Though we think of the Olympics as this great opportunity for countries to compete, there isn't actually much  equal footing.

Soccer, on the other hand, has always had little financial barrier to entry. Granted, I'm sure at the international level, soccer teams are pretty monetarily well-supported, but it's still heartening to see that Paraguay and Honduras are among the qualifying 32 teams and America is still kind of sucking it up.

On Friday, I went out with some South African friends to watch the opening ceremony and the opening game, South Africa vs. Mexico. Since South Africa is hosting and they are also the first African country ever to host a World Cup, my South African friends are pretty excited. To promote the games, South Africa has produced some pretty cool pop songs in collaboration with American artists, actually. My favorite is Shakira's cover of "Waka Waka."

I'm curious if this is popular in the U.S. considering that the World Cup itself usually seems to pass by without much notice.

Anyway, soccer is a big deal in Korea too, even if South Korea's prospects look grim. There's even an official song for the World Cup by the very popular 13-member Korean boy band, Super Junior, called "Victory Korea."

Daehan Minguk = "Republic of Korea" 

I think it's hilarious that most of this video was filmed in Paju English Village, the fakest place in Korea. I hope they weren't trying to make people think that this is what Korea looks like.

Saturday was the South Korea vs. Greece game. Even though it was pouring rain, some friends and I made it out to City Hall to watch the game.

Yay, ponchos!

It was pretty exciting to be out there watching as Korea beat Greece 2-0. 

Afterward, we took a cab over to Itaewon to watch the US vs. England match at 3:30 A.M. Unfortunately, I couldn't quite stay up for it. I ended up sleeping through three-fourths of the game, including the kick off and a bar fight. Fail.

Eye Examinations

I've been seeing black flecks in my eyes for a few weeks so  went to get it checked out between classes on Wednesday. The doctors did all the basic eye exam stuff (or what I assume is the basic eye exam stuff - this was my first). Then, they put some anesthetic eye drops in my eyes so they could look at my retinas. Looking at the retina involves putting a concave magnifying scope directly on the eyeball.

So, this Korean doctor was trying to poke my eye with a Q-tip as she was explaining this to me. To put on the lens, I assume, but I was a little freaked out all the same. She finally pulled back and asked if I was okay, because I wasn't keeping my head still. 

"I feel kind of funny," I said. 

"Dizzy?" she asked.

"I dunno," I said, fighting to keep my eyes open. "Just kinda funny."

I woke up an indefinite amount of time later to this:

It was a little distressing.

As I lay in a puddle of my own icy sweat, the medical staff asked me lots of questions that I didn't know how to answer. 


"You have family here?" Um.
"Who can you call?" I don't know. 
"Do you have friend?" Um wat? 
"They need to pick you up. You have friend to pick you up?" No... 
"Who will you call?"

AH OMG I DUNNOOOOO 

;_;


Long story short, I did eventually get home. My co-teacher said this probably all happened because I do not have proper nutrition since I've stopped eating in the school cafeteria.

Oh, and they said my eyes are fine.

Gay Men and Those Who Love Them

This post is dedicated to Darino. Dude, STFU :P

While perusing Best of Craigslist a while back, I came across this ad:

Faghag Needed in NEK

This, in particular, caught my attention:

Ideal candidate would possess some or all of the following qualities:
A car
Loud annoying voice
Sympathy with a strong streak of vindictiveness
Masculinity beyond which I posses
Offers good advice while never taking her own
The need to protect her Fag from violence by str8 men (typically while beating her Fag for getting into the mess in the first place)

Overweight/Ginger/Lesbian tendencies to the front of the line.

And I thought to myself, 'crap, I fulfill more of these categories than I am comfortable with.' This is completely putting aside the fact that I seem to have made several gay friends here.

I always thought fag hag was a horrible term. Even though Will & Grace made it en vogue, it still carries negative connotations. The gist of urban dictionary's definition - fag hag is shorthand for 'looks normal, emotional fuckwittery within.'

Really, is it wrong for a straight woman like myself to enjoy hanging out with gay men? To find it refreshing to just be platonic friends with guys that don't want to get in your pants or tell you about their ball sweat? Does this indicate some inner disfunctionality of mine?  Am I doomed to prefer the company of men who can never find me sexually attractive??

But they are so fun! :\

I'm going to go listen to 'Bret, You Got It Going On' and be vaguely anxious.

Life is Rough. Have the Right Playlist.

June can be a difficult month for public school teachers whose contracts end in August. With the end in sight, yet still a few months off, it can be difficult to cope with certain work situations and relationships.

I've been extremely lucky with my work situation but I know several friends that are getting a little down as the month drags on. One fellow SMOE teacher I know is having a nightmare situation right now.

So, I'd like to share what I do when things get rough in my life.

For...

...When you are sad.
(Oh no! Don't be sad.)

Flight of the Conchords - Bret, You Got It Going On

Your beard is good. Just a compliment for you…your beard. Just a compliment about your beard…being good.

Seriously, though, why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?

...When you are mad as hell.

Yelling at Cats

I WILL END YOU!!!

...When you are lacking inspiration.

Nike: My Better is Better

Saul Williams knows what fucking awesome means.

...When you are feeling rejected.

Beyonce - Why Don't You Love Me

A friend said of this video, "I feel like there isn't anyone in her life that doesn't (or isn't forced to) love Beyonce."
And this is why I love Beyonce.
Don't take that shit. Wear vintage lingerie. Look pretty crying. Force people to love you. --> SUCCESS

...When you feel like watching other people be outraged for you.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
10 F#@king Years - Even Stevphen
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

The Daily Show: 10 Fucking Years - Even Stevphen 

Steve, that's a stupid thing to say and you're a stupid person for saying it.

I Almost Died. Seriously.

I went river rafting with some friends in Gangwon-do over the weekend. Gangwon-do is a really beautiful area about two hours to the east of Seoul. We stayed at a pension next to the Naerim River.

This was the view from our balcony. See? Motherfucking beautiful, right?

Here's my boat setting out.

What's wrong with me?

Don't we look like winners? Sadly, it didn't quite end in success for us.

Our guide told us the water is crazy after rains. Definitely there was some craziness going on. Whether it was the river or him, I am unsure. Regardless, we ended up standing on a rock in the middle of a bunch of rapids as our raft filled with water and sank/floated away. No one thought to take a photo, so here is my own rendition of it.

I saved Mark but Darino was lost downstream.

After watching our guide futilely untangle a rope for a while, we came to the conclusion that he was probably not going to rescue us. So, remember, if similar circumstances befall you, lie on your back, facing downstream as if you were being crucified - the Jesus position. Don't pray, though, as closing your eyes will make it more difficult to avoid large rocks. 

Luckily, we all made it to safety without major injury. It was actually pretty exciting! The second time around was sort of annoying, though.

As I was discussing with the other Americans in the boat, I was surprised by how dangerous the rafting was. I mean, we never had to sign release waivers. The British and Canadians with us listened in semi-disgust.

Afterward, we had dinner outside our pension. Here are some Korean men cooking our samgyeopsal on a homemade grill.

Awesome. 

Such a traumatic episode forces us to confront our own terrifying fragility. It makes one stop and think about the important things in life, why we're living the lives we are and making the choices we've made. It's heavy stuff.

Contemplating life and other complex, worrying issues.

Luckily, soju is a complete mind eraser.

On Being a Wineo

Kara, Orla and Bobbie with wine.

For a while now, my friends and I have been on and off regulars at a Saturday evening wine buffet in Gangnam. For 23,000 won, you can drink unlimited glasses of wine or champagne from 6 P.M. to 9 P.M. There's also an offering of tasty hors d'oeuvres (including real cheese, which I'm told is a big draw, if you like that sort of thing).

The key to a successful experience at wine buffet is to create a 'wine bank' before 8:45 when the wine starts going away. If you are unsure what the word 'success' means as applied to a wine buffet, here is a visual example:

Exhibit A: Wine Bank

Afterward, we tottered over to Hongdae to go clubbing. There are many wonderful and horrible things in Hongdae. Like dance clubs! And also, dance clubs. Remember to fortify yourself properly. Although very few of the clubs and bars sell soju (the cost to alcohol content ratio makes it unprofitable to serve), the local Buy the Way is well-stocked.

Exhibit B: Soju Warriors (Sorry Deryk and Michael)

I warn you, things degenerate rapidly where soju is involved.

EverLand Oh God!

It was Election Day today, which means no work! Not even Presidental elections, actually. But hey, whatever, I celebrate democracy. No school Yay!

So, in honor of democracy, I went to Everland with some friends. Everland is basically like Lotteworld but bigger and better and slightly farther away (it's around a 30 minute bus ride from Gangnam Station). Although, Everland seems a little less Disney-esque to me. And they have the biggest wooden roller coaster in the world! 

Here's some of the employees dancing at the Amazon ride. It was strange but they seemed happy.

Crazy British lady.

My friend, Bobbie, seemed quite happy as well. Something about Everland just seems to make everyone feel like dancing. 

Everyone except me. I always get so excited for amusement parks. Then, I get there and remember that I hate crowds so, so much, it makes me want to punch someone.

Luckily, I've developed coping mechanisms for such things.

I eat dip 'n' dots. (They're the ice cream of the future.)

Or, I try on ridiculous accessories.

 Rawr. But seriously, I will tear your face off.

 

Man, why didn't I buy it all? They had slippers, too!